Movin on Up...

We finally paid off the exorbitant sum of money required for our apartment downpayment & a few days later, received our official signed copy of our new lease this week! We are looking forward to saying 'Adieu, Tschuss, Ciao Motherf***ers' to this building. Our new place is currently occupied by our friends who just found out they are moving to Dallas (after some months of uncertainity about where they'd end up). We are excited for them to be going back to their top choice in the US. Additionally, we are excited for 3 bedrooms, a huge living room, quiet, a fireplace, insane amounts of storage space (our idea of 'insane amounts' is seriously funny), quiet, having a new part of the city to explore (one which people don't snub or ask, 'do you feel safe here?') and umm, did I mention some quiet? Between the constant construction across the street, the noisiest hallway known to man, a freaking washer/dryer that beeps incessantly when unhappy & film crews, I am thinking we are really going to relish the whole quiet factor.
Now, whose game for a late April/early May trip to Zurich to help break down & then rebuild Ikea furniture?

I Call Bullshit Zurich.

Here is the upcoming weather report for Zurich. It's times like these that I wish I were either
a. a bear so I could just sleep right through all this shit or
b. a bear so I could just sleep right through all this shit.

Hysterical Moment in Kindergarten History

Yesterday I encountered a young lady standing with her back to the wall in the bathroom crying profusely. Of course, there were about 7 other young ladies standing around her saying, 'why are you crying?' 'what's wrong?' and to me, 'why is she crying?' Now, considering I had just entered the room, I was in the same unclear situation as a gaggle of 6 year-olds. First things first, I attempted to clear out the gaggle of girls, although nothing attracts a crowd of young ladies like another girl crying, so this was a feat. Eventually, the girl tells me that she's upset because 'she has yogurt on her butt.' That's right folks, yogurt on her butt. I ask to see her butt & sure enough, there is a rather large stain of either strawberry or raspberry or some other red yogurt all over her leggings. This is quite upsetting to the girl, so I tell her I will assist her in cleaning the yogurt off her butt, if she will wash the yogurt off her hands. She is still crying & quite concerned that 'other people can see the yogurt on her butt.' I convince her that it looks much better (it doesn't), try wiping yogurt off a little girls butt that you've only met 45 seconds ago & you'll understand the somewhat uncomfortable position I felt myself to be in. So, I walk the girl up to her classroom & locate her teacher (the same one Cal had last year for class, love her) and give her the low-down. She reacts with, 'oh, she's a real smart one.' And proceeds to tell me that the young lady had thought it would be amusing to take her friends unopened yogurt & that's right, sit on it. I guess it was shocking to her when the container exploded & got all over her pants.

Good Saturday Morning

Why wouldn't one expect to wake up at 8am on a Saturday to a giant spotlight, a video camera & 7 men standing on the street in front of your kitchen? Cause that's what is happening here in Zurich. It appears to be a seriously jenky operation. They haven't even blocked the street off, so every few minutes they have to move out of the middle of the street for passing traffic. Joe took these pictures below & everyone turned to stare in at him, which was something they'd already done to me a few minutes before as I was preparing breakfast. Um, hi?! Thanks for staring into my home this morning. There's nothing I enjoy more.

 

 

Adding insult to injury, as we were washing said breakfast dishes, I noted, 'how come the water is not getting hot?' Joe proceeded to check the other sinks & then touched the radiators & surprise, we have no heat or hot water! Yeah! As we speak Joe is "gearing up to go talk to those (deleted expletive)." He's referring to our beyond frustrating building caretakers. Below is just a small example of their stupidity. Our laundry sign-up sheet:

 

Can anyone guess which name is theres??? The first two lines of the sign-up sheet are typed examples of how one should sign-up for the laundry. Now I understand this document is in a language that most of you CANNOT EVEN READ. But, do you think you could figure out how to sign up for laundry, merely from the examples? I mean, these are the people who are IN CHARGE OF THE BUILDING.

Feeling like a kid again

We spent yesterday morning out on the sledge slopes of Klewenalp with fantastic friends. We had the 9 km run almost entirely to ourselves due to iffy weather conditions. As was bound to happen, our really mature tendencies dominated as we raced to the bottom in full contact sledding. At one point, Joe was leading, with myself in hot pursuit, when Andre came up out of nowhere. He said "I'm not going to hurt you," which in my estimation basically means, "I might or might not be a creepy man hanging out in the park, trying to lure you into my van with candies." So, of course, Joe & Andre engaged in some sledding battle which concluded in both of them wiping out, one to the right, one to the left while I scooted right through the center, unscathed. Towards the end of the 9k, the run ends into a sparsely used road. Here there is a sign that states in German, "sledgers stay to the right." The right side of the road remained uncleared, and we sledged down the rest of the way in a slushy, dirty mess of what can barely be considered snow, while doing our best to avoid running our sledges onto the road & into oncoming traffic. Seriously, only in Switzerland.

spastic 8 minute re-cap

Of the past 5 seasons of the completely dense, Duchek fav, TV show Lost. It's worth checking out the clip, if only to enjoy some mildly entertaining quips spoken by one of the most monotone women this planet has ever seen. Personally, I enjoy her style, and we enjoy Lost, so thought we'd pass along...

Great Moment in 1st Grade Conversation

Setting: lunch table
R: Liz, I like your necklace.
V: I like it too.
Me: Thank you R. Thank you V.
V: Where did you get it?
Me: My husband gave it to me.
V: Oh, what's his, or her, name?
Me: Uh, his name is Joe.

And, that's a wrap.